As I watch my Facebook feed flood with “it’s been a great year” montages, I’m not sure I can relate.
This year my dad had two heart attacks, and I had my heart, broken.
While I can say, that this year has shown me a few things..
I experienced adventure and went places I don’t know that I’d otherwise have visited. I learned the spontaneity of jumping on a flight for a weekend, is freeing, invigorating, and keeps life interesting.
I did have the best summer of my life, and I met people that I’m really glad I met (even if they didn’t have staying power- I wish them well on all of their journeys).
This year has also revealed to me that I love hard – something I wouldn’t change even if I had a choice. It’s who I am. It’s my superpower. Unfortunately, the love isn’t always deserving.. And sometimes it’s that very person who hurts you in ways you couldn’t have imagined. But, that’s the gamble we take. I admire my heart for never giving up hope.
On that same token, I’ve been shown that I need to stand up for myself a whole lot more than I did. Be sure to always say what you need to say. Listen to your intuition. There are certain things that I allowed to go on for far too long, out of fear of losing something.. I know better now.
And as far as my fathers health – You’ll never see me turn down a chance to spend time with my family. I’ve been conditioned to always say ‘I love you’, and take one last look before leaving my loved ones. Tomorrow is never promised.
So, I can’t say this has been a ‘great year’ – and you won’t be seeing my montage on your Facebook wall. But, I will be taking these lessons into the new year with me.
2015 is looking really promising. I am about to embark on the biggest journey yet: I’m moving out.. (cue Billy Joel, please!) My freelance business is thriving (errrryday I’m hustlin’) I’ve made a ton of new friends already, and booked a ton of trips (Nashville, I’m comin’ back for you!). Not to mention my family is getting ready to welcome a new baby girl, and all around, we all have our health.
After a troubled year, the tides are turning for all.
I am so amazed and proud of where I am today, in December – and how very far I’ve come since October. The space in between has felt like an eternity – but, I am better for it. We are braver than we know – stronger than we believe. From ashes, we rise.
I feel like for the first time, in a long time, I’m living for no one but myself – and the universe is answering in big ways. What a beautiful feeling. How very happy I am. 2015 will be a year of stepping out of my comfort zone, and in to a life I’ve always wanted.
So as always, I wish you all well. Close your chapters, tie your loose ends, and start this year with a clean slate. Forgive, forget, let go – find peace.. then find adventure.. have the very best 2015 you can.
See you on the other side.