Well 2013, you suck. Just when I thought I was being rewarded for have surviving your suckiness, you managed to suck even more ! You truly sucked all the way to the very end. Congrats on that.
So, it would seem the ongoing theme between me and my gal pals this week has been: baggage. And, not the cute Louis Vuitton kind, you wouldn’t mind people see you tote around town. We’re talking the ugly, emotional kind.
The topic came up, because a few of us are entering some new territory, with some new men who’s pasts are sort of mysterious to us. I can personally say, I don’t know much about my newbie’s past – and I think it should stay that way.
He and I were out to dinner one night, and I was asking him the basics.. how long he’s been single, how long they were together. And, then he said to me ‘How about you?.. but, can I be honest? I don’t really care’ – and I thought.. yeah.. neither do I.
Here’s the deal: Asking these questions, will give you a little background on things – sure. BUT, you’re also risking the possibility that this is going to open up one great big can of worms. I know that I’ve dated a-many men who were not over their exes – and it was a constant worry of mine. Somewhere deep down – I already KNEW (as always, you ALREADY KNOW the answers to your questions – because your gut is screaming to you!) that these men were not over their exes. My obsessing was totally validated, but that was all the more reason I needed to get out of those relationships. If there are no red flags about your new beau’s past, DO NOT go searching for some.
I get it. I mean, we all have our insecurities, right? Being vulnerable to someone else, is a scary place – for some more, than others. But, do not feed your negative noise. Do not go looking for something to blow out of proportion, only to self-sabotage your current happiness. Trust. TRUST! Trust. If you cant, well then you either A. need to do some soul-searching, and work on yourself – or – B. get the hell out, because your gut is sending you some truth.
Leave the past, in the past. Any old issue, should be a dead issue. New relationship. New beginning. Anything before it, just doesn’t (and shouldn’t) matter anymore.
Sparks are bullshit.
Let’s say you have $100.
Don’t try to convince someone of who you are and what you’re worth – bc to the right people, that’s already obvious.. And to the wrong ones, well – that’s why they’re wrong.