Ya knowwww.. I use to be super guilty of serial dating. I went from one serious relationship, to the next. I was holding on to these dysfunctional and volatile relationships for reasons unbeknownst to me. Why would I stay in something so bad for so long? Part of it was, when you’re in a bad situation – you can never see how truly awful the circumstance is until you’re out of it. Or you don’t want to. Maybe I was scared to be alone. Maybe I was even more scared to have to get to know myself.
Regardless, I think so often we are keeping ourselves in negative relationships, because we’re scared of what will happen, or who we’ll be, when we let go of them. But, when the cons – outweigh the pros – you have to get out of there – for yourself! You need to be able to stand on your own. You need to love yourself. You need to feel whole as a person, by yourself – before you can ever feel one – with someone else. When you are trying to fill a void, with someone else’s love or attention.. you are signing up for an endless, empty, journey. Someone else will never be able to give you enough attention, and will never be able to make you happy (even if they’re trying their hardest!) – because YOU are your problem.
I took a year off. One year.. maybe a little more. No serious dating. I got to know myself. I figured out how I like to dress. Where I like to eat. What I like to do. What I absolutely hate. It was a journey I wouldn’t trade for the world.. and I feel lucky to have done it. Some people go their whole lives with this void in their hearts.
Maybe you don’t have a year – maybe you don’t have the patience for a long journey – maybe you’re already in a relationship, and desperately trying to be happy with yourself. That’s fine. I’d suggest some serious alone time (which is healthy for a relationship!) – and some soul searching. Read some good books that will guide you on this journey (I’d recommend “A Place Of Yes” – Bethenny Frankel and “Spirit Junkie” – Gabrielle Bernstein). Do some physical activity. Eat well. Journal. Make lots of lists (of what you love to do, then do them). Listen to yourself (AND YOUR GUT!). When you are truly happy with yourself, you are at peace – and that will only make for the best relationship recipe.